I’m just a fucked up girl looking for a piece of mind. & I admit that I’m still a stupid girl that doesn’t know what’s right or wrong. I fall into temptations a lot but I know to stay away from drugs. Sometimes, I lie to myself to make myself feel better and that usually ends up biting me in the ass. I have a tendency to want things my way, so I guess that makes me selfish. I’m not an independent person either, I always need someone there to take care of me. I say that I’m special, but I know I’m not. & when I’m really mad, I don’t give a fuck about anyone else.

But I want to become a better person. Bite me.

If everything else is unsure - relationships, school, & friends, I know that there will always be one thing I can depend on, dance. Dance will always be my first love, no doubt. Yes, I know that I’ve been on a dance break since school has been session, but I’m going to get back at it this week. I’m sorry dance for neglecting you. I literally have only two weeks to prepare for the UG 7 auditions & I’m already nervous. Made interviews last auditions but I’m definitely putting all my heart into this one so I can be on the team. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. & The Bridge has inspired me in so many ways. You don’t even know how much I needed this. Thank God it was yesterday, it made my weekend.

Well, this weekend in general was an emotional weekend but everything I’m leaving behind & everything I’m looking forward to will all pay off. I just hope that I’m not making any wrong decisions.

There sick, but it looks hella cleaner live. Such a great way to start off junior competition. Too bad Rjay didn’t perform with them! West Covina Compeition though, you already know ;]

I fucked up. I failed to realize what you mean to mean. Your touch, your patience, your vibe - I miss it all. These past two months of silence showed me how much I care about you & us. I don’t know where we stand right now but I don’t want things to be over. You’ve been there for the last three years of my life & I can’t believe we are throwing it away over a stupid event we didn’t go to. I’m genuinely falling for you. It’s a shame how you’re not there trying to catch me anymore. I remember I use to call you if I needed someone to vent to & you would be at my house in 10 minutes flat depending on where you were at…but now I can’t even reach you. You don’t even call back when I call you five times & left you a voice mail. I let down my pride to work things out, but my pride was the cause of this. I hate myself for letting it go this far. Why can’t things be like they use to? When we would be in your car just talking/messing around and just have each other presence. When we would go to ihop just because you knew that Ihop was my favorite place to eat. But what I miss most was when we just had each other…

Just lately, I’ve been believing you don’t need me in your life anymore. I’ve been there for too long already & I’m just another distraction to you. I wish I had the nerve to say I’m not coming back. But this is it..this is it.

& just to let you know…I can promise you that I won’t do weed & cigarettes. I was so unsure when we talked about it a couple of times, but I’m positive that I won’t do it. It’s cause of you Kenny Quoc Ly. You were the one going through my head when I was doing it. I was the one who made you stop but now I can say that you made me stop.

This is the last time I’ll write about you or talk about you. I deleted your number. I deleted your aim. I just want you to be happy now, whatever you choose. You’re a good person & you’ll find someone that will & can be there for you. Thanks for helping/caring for the last three years with my bullshit. I don’t think I can say I’ve been there for you though. I feel numb, but I guess that’s alright.

Off to Tan’s debut.